What is this? I come to tread the fields after a long leave and find that not only is our entire board a changin', but Jedi have hijacked the tractors. Back in the day, the mighty MWC could well hold its own verses marauding pirates and wily spellcasters. Now the clone wars have hit the corn fields, looting and raiding seemingly at will! I think too many in the MWC are sleepin' off the corn whiskey and not guarding the barns. And farmers should always check their fields in winter, fallow or not.
We break now from our currently scheduled programming to bring you live to a serious event happening on several farms here in the tri-county area.
Rube: I don't understand. My fields are littered with one-word excrement.
Rube #2: It's them aliens that done raced me and Zeke's tractors down yonder!
Reporter: That's the way it's been all throughout the tri-county area. This is the most excitement here since several farmers claimed that aliens were drag racing their tractors last month. Fetid piles of "indeed" can be seen piling up all over farms. The local farmers have not yet put together a strategy to take back their beloved farms, but some have been overheard talking about a "prophecy" of some sort. For this reporter, I am not sure the proported cure is any better than the problem.