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Jedi Republic Communication Thread
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A Brief History of the JEDI REPUBLIC; PART IIX
Out of the ashes of the Empire came the New Republic. With Palpatine destroyed (or so it was thought) and the Empire in ruins, the Jedi Yoda had trained on Dagobah set up a new Jedi Order, and Yoda returned to his position on the new Jedi Council.
Those who survived the Dark Times also joined Yoda on the Council. Namly, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gong Jinn, Count Dooku, and Moff Tarkin, a former servent of the Emperor who defected to the Rebel Alliance shortly before the slaying of Emperor Palpatine.
Because of the vital role the Jedi played in the saving of the galaxy, the new Republic was named the Jedi Republic, to honor all the Jedi lost during the Dark Times.
Which brings us to today. The new Jedi Republic was prospering when suddenly an entire demention shift occured, transporting the Jedi Republic galaxy to a different dimention....
And thus ends this Brief History of the Jedi Republic. I hope you have enjoyed it, please consider this as a background for all the stories on our Republic to follow. Thank you.
[Message Edited]
       
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Better slap a copyright symbol on some of these posts, rummor has it that none other than Mr George Lucas has been hanging around lately reading some of these posts pissing himself laughing. Or so his wife told me . . . there shoting Starwars 3 just up over younder! You may think I'm kidding don't you . . .
      
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Run and hide he better if III is as "wonderful" as I and II.....................................................................................................................
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Hey, I liked II. It was infinitely better than Ep I. 
 
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What's your native language, Wedge?
By the way, welcome to the Metaverse! 
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...Qui-Gon's survival from certain death at the hands of KitWarrior (oops, Darth Maul)...
Hey I resemble that remark! You don't want another visit by the Four Darths again, do ya? |
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Sort of enjoyed the last one, until we all lost track of who we were. An identity crisis at 1:00 AM or so on a work night is too confusing.
| ...rumor has it that none other than Mr George Lucas has been hanging around lately reading some of these posts... |
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He's given us enough laughs and enjoyment over the years, it's nice to return the favor a bit if true. But, oooh, I hope we don't get sued.
So... why don’t we like I and II?
Run and hide he better if III is as "wonderful" as I and II |
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Kit, I don't mean to turn this into a critical review thread, but you may keep your "We" to yourself this time! You better watch it too, Master Yoda, or I'll swipe your cane!
OK, I'll give you Ep. I and its "kiddie" writing, especially around the pod race. But I liked Ep. II the first time and like it even more now that I've seen it a few times. It's head and shoulders above watching Ewoks run around a forest for an hour. The idea of good slowly corrupting into evil is a very compelling one. Seeing it happen on a large scale with the Republic, echoed by a personal one with my young apprentice, makes for an interesting film. I also think Lucas did a great job of taking situations that we saw in IV, V and VI and "twisting" them into something much darker (the Tatooine homestead sunset, etc. - even though he SHOULD HAVE had Anakin in the "Luke the Thinker" pose looking at the twin suns - maybe something for the next DVD release...)
Anyway, 'nuff said. Welcome to the Republic, Wedge83!
[Message Edited]
  
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We still don't like I and II.   We think Obi Wan needs to accept us for who we are. We are KitWarrior! - Space Pirate with a Frosty Brain Freeze! 
    
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Meanwhile, in the Jedi Republic "Danger Room"...
Obi-Wan and KitWarrior glared menacingly at each other from opposite sides of the ring. The muted hum of Obi-Wan's blue lightsaber and the high-pitched whine of the electrified monofilament on Kit's double-bladed cutlass were the only sounds in the room for the moment. The Jedi trainees stared, only now realizing that this practice sparring match had all the signals of turning into a "fer real" duel. The Dark Side was strong here.
Dooku, wearing a black-and-white pinstriped cloak, walked slowly to the center of the ring and pulled down the microphone. "All right, gentlemen. Marquess of Queensbury rules. There are enforcer droids here to enforce them.
"Does anyone wish to offer an apology and settle this without battle?"
Kit spat out the black rubber mouthpiece. "I meant what I said. Episodes I and II are a blight on my happy childhood memories. I am not a child anymore and demand adult writing in my entertainment. Like 'Private Ryan.' Or 'Gandhi.'"
Obi-Wan snarled back, "APOLOGIZE? Lucas is the Master. One day, we will all look back and marvel at his genius. The sheer depth and poetry of Jar-Jar's dialogue. The timeless rhapsody of Artoo's beeping. Apologize? HAH!"
EBZ, idly working on a JD and Coke in the visitors' section, offered a bored commentary to Amidala. Wearing a skintight "I Like Evil Men" T-shirt, she was sitting in his lap, obviously enthralled. "Well, Kit's already making mistakes. What's with this whole organized fight setup? I mean, he claims to be 'evil.' Hit him while he isn't looking - THAT'S evil. A fair fight is almost Altarian..."
Yoda, dressed in a jogging suit and headband, was pacing in Obi-Wan's corner. "A wrecking machine, this one is! Yes! Be mindful of his Maso submissions! What know you of 'ready?'"
Meanwhile, Gerakken's presence next to Kit was revealed by a slight thickening of the air. "You've got him riled, which is an advantage. Use it. He's at his best in a fight when he has plenty of time to think and plan, to work out a strategy and map out fall-back plans. He'll try to take it to the distance, not go for a fast kill. Force him to react, not think. The red-and-black face paint was a good idea - it should make him even angrier..."
To be continued. Maybe.
[Message Edited]
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Ok, give you "II" I will, I enjoyed that one...
But, no excuse does "I" have... purely pathetic it was, after all the years he had to perfect the storyline.
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| Yoda, dressed in a jogging suit and headband |
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Wheres my Treadmil?
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 My Updated GalCiv Logon has been accepted on wincustomize.com!
 Link
Version 1.1 Updates: Performance updates, and removed some unnessecary files left in the folder.
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#265
by Citizen KitWarrior - 8/13/2003 12:08:35 AM
Prequel to the Danger Room
Dirty Deeds
“Ever notice how common it is for us Evil folk to have a name that begins with ‘K’?”
The pirate ignored the petty question. He continued to shuffle through the holodisks in the box, tossing all of the Wookie titles over to the two Sith.
“That’s 200.” Gesturing to a large metal crate, the marauder kept the transaction moving. “Open it up so I can see the... thingie.”
The Sith tossed the last disks over to their droids and walked over to their end of the bargain.
“These are the components to one of Count Dooku’s Jedi containment fields.” Thrusting two counter levers apart, the other Sith opened the crate. “Assembly, operation, and maintenance are on this disk.” It was tossed over to the pirate, who tucked it into a leather pouch.
“Pleasure not doing business with y’all.” Three droids came over from the pirate’s corvette to load the device.
“Truly,” a Sith responded as they headed back to their vessel.
Child’s Play
Another hop, another swap. This time it was the pirate with a large metal crate.
“I only see one, two, four, five, and six!” The raider spread the disks in his hand like playing cards. “Where’s the third training disk?!?!”
“It hasn’t been completed yet.” responded the young Padawan. His eyes darted from one side to the other. The Evil that surrounded him made him nervous, but the Evil inside him would cause him to lose his composure.
“Not completed?!?! What kind of morons skip... forget it.” The pirate slipped the five training disks into the same leather pouch as before. “This will cost you. Twoforty, take a dozen cases out and load ‘em into our ship.”
“But those are ALL of our primary training disks! I’ve fulfilled my end of the deal!” The Padawan slid his hand towards his lightsaber, but thought better than to draw his weapon. A pair of deathray zorchers on the marauder’s corvette had lined up for a shot at him.
“Would you rather call the deal off?” the pirate asked with a sly voice. He reached back to grab a bottle off of one of his droids. During a long draw from the brew, with droplets testifying to the crisp cold temperature of the amber liquid, the Evil one made his gulping very audible. The bottle emptied, “AAAHHHhhh...” he tossed it back to the droid. The young one, watching intently, was not aware that he was licking his own dry lips.
“No! No.” The Padawan struggled to keep his emotions under control. “I still have... two dozen cases. That’ll be enough.”
An satisfied smirk emerged on the scoundrel’s face. It was time to observe some of the Jedi Republic’s visual aids.
to be continued... up to the Danger Room
(edit: typos)
[Message Edited]
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A few updates to the website, including a new (suitably mysterious) photo for KEmperor, general scoring and rank updates, and a link to Yoda's GalCiv logon. Check 'em out.
Link
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...back at the Danger Room...
Yoda was practicing throwing in the towel as he finished his pep talk with Obi-Wan. "Master Dooku is missing one of his restraint fields, he is. Expect dark trickery, you must!"
Obi-Wan glanced up from where he was polishing his saber's reflector plate. As much as he was riled up at the moment, at least he'd remembered to turn it off first. "A restraint field?!? If Kit has it set up here, how am I supposed to fight once he turns it on if I can't even MOVE?"
"Trust in the Force, you must!"
"What, so I'm supposed to close my eyes and pretend he ISN'T hacking away at me?!?"
On the other side of the ring, Obi-Wan could see Kit. Still wearing the infuriating red-and-black face paint, he was now slowly and deliberately pacing back and forth while staring unblinkingly at the Jedi, as if he were a particularly appetizing slice of roast Drengin with asparagus and walnut sprinkles.
Dooku stepped back up to the mike. "Gentlemen, if everything is settled...LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE!!!!"
The two combatants leapt at each other, aided more by fury and impatience than by the Force. Dooku barely managed to dive out of the way. In the midst of his first swing against Obi-Wan, Kit briefly lost momentum by reflexively going for a scalping against the scrambling referee. Dooku saved his fine head of hair by shoving the blade aside with the Force, and Obi-Wan pressed the advantage, moving his adversary a few steps backwards.
Amidala stretched lazily in EBZ's lap, now paying more attention to what was happening in the arena. "I always LOVE how...ANGRY Obi-Wan gets when he's fighting somebody in face paint...oooh..."
Kit could hear Gerakken whispering in his ear, although of course he didn't see him. "Good - let him wear himself out! I'm getting great odds as long as he looks good for awhile!"
While Kit could appreciate a cash influx as well as anyone (and as a bachelor and a pirate to boot, better than most), he wasn't used to being on the defensive. Besides, that saber blade was HOT, and he was starting to sweat under the face paint. He decided to goad the Jedi into a particularly reckless attack to gain an opening.
"Midi-Chlorians! Midi-Chlorians! Can I get a blood transfusion, please? I wanna use the Force, too! Midi-Chlorians!"
With a snarl, Obi-Wan leapt forward...
...Kit thumbed the activation switch...
...Gerakken got out of the way, although he was the only one that knew it...
And Obi-Wan froze abruptly in mid-air, sparkling bands around his ankles and wrists. He could turn his head, but that was about it. He was still holding his saber, but couldn't move it. He was also eighteen feet above the ring.
"Well THIS sucks," commented Kit to no one in particular, although he was glaring at Anakin. The young Padawan failed to notice, as he was himself glaring at EBZ off in the visitors' section.
"Well THIS sucks," commented Obi-Wan to the ground.
A bell sounded. Dooku walked back to the microphone. "We will apparently need a slight intermission before Round 2. Will someone please get a tall ladder?"
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I'm in Sydney, and what a beautiful day it is today... so many unsuspecting surfers
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